Wow, jeans and long sleeves in August... crazy weather we're having. While the cool weather always makes me feel a little better, and while all in all it was a good day, I did have to apologize to my daughter at least 3 times for yelling today. I still can't always tell if my frustration is a BPD episode or normal parent stuff. Either way, I shouldn't yell. Not at such a precious little angel. Not at all. Despite my moments of frustration, she was such a delight today. She always is, but today was just one amazing thing after the next and I just feel so amazingly luck and blessed to be her mother. She really has saved my life. If not for her, I may never have sought help or even ever saw that I needed it. I would have lost everything and still been struggling and wondering what is wrong with me. Not that everything is all better now, but at least I know what's wrong with me and that I can get help. She makes me matter. To take care of her and give her the best possible life, the life she deserves, I have to take care of myself. So that she can have a mother who is healthy and can be there for her. A mother she can look up to. A mother who she knows will always be there for her, no matter what. A mother she can trust and love. A mother she deserves.
Thank you, my angel, for choosing me to be your mommy. I promise, I won't let you down.
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