Ups and downs

Big picture... yesterday was a fantastic day. Crazy busy, but wonderful. We went to the zoo and then to the beach (my baby's first time) and then dinner with family. The beach is one of my favorite places to be. I felt so happy and relaxed while we where there. And I was so happy to be there with my friend and my boyfriend, and especially, my baby girl. It was an amazing day. The downs of the day were mostly during the travel. The ride to the beach was about an hour and a half and there was traffic. Almost the entire car ride down I felt anxious. Between something that happened at the zoo ( I don't feel comfortable going into detail as it involves other people) and the traffic, plus my boyfriend doesn't really like Long Island, I was overwhelmed with anxiety. I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. Instead, I dug my nails deep into my skin. Deep enough to still have stinging cuts on my arm today. He didn't see me do it and hasn't noticed the cuts. It was the only calm I felt on that car ride though. As much as it hurt, it was the only time I felt like I could breathe. Until, that is, I saw the ocean. Then I got excited. Once we got on that beach, my feet touched the sand and I saw and smelled the ocean... ahhh. Calm. I loved it. Plus I was with some of my favorite people, my good friend, my boyfriend and my gorgeous, sweet baby girl. Then a relaxing dinner with some of my family who all love my baby and she ate it up. She loved being with them. It was a good day.   :)